English Terminology Part II

Where is the most likely place you would hear the following:
"I stopped by for a drink and a fag"

A) Denny's restaurant at 2am
B) A gay bar
C) From a Brit at your local English Pub
D) All of the above

Answer: "D"

However, the difference between the three is that "C" refers to "Fag" as being what we americans call a "cigarette". I heard the phrase above at my local pub from a brit that was taking a break from his wedding party. I had to do one of those "Did I just hear you correctly" looks and then realized what he was talking about.
Anyway, I haven't blogged for awhile so I just thought I'd throw that out there. Life has been a bit boring until I catch up on bills thanks to this tremendous move to the U.K. and work on the house. However, I'm breaking in the house this Friday...Should be some interesting stories to tell...

English Terminology Part I

Learned a couple new words from a group I went out cycling with the other day:

Wood Butcher: A carpenter

I think this one was made up when we took the wrong turn while looking for the pub we were all to meet at...

Beer Hunter: One who hunts for a pub without a map.

Pint: Gives you energy to ride faster longer and gives you that "Liquid Courage". 1 Pint of Cider = 3 cans of American Beer. I underestimated the strength...don't drink and cycle.

Now I know I'm in England and they do speak English here, but some have a really strong accent, especially with some of the older crowd like the one I was out with, you don't understand a damn word they're saying. So just to be polite, when they laugh, I laugh too, but most of the time I'll have this "Curious" look on my face as I'm wondering "What are these people talking about and what country am I in again?"

Desktop Computers and European Outlets

So if you find yourself in Europe with your desktop computer, always, always, ALWAYS...remember to switch the power supply on the computer to 230V BEFORE plugging it in! Use your imagination as to what just happened to me. Glad I still have the laptop.

"The best mistakes to learn from are those made by other people"

Back to College...

This place kinda reminds me of a retro version of the VFW at SIU. Lot of space for one person but the government gives me the cash for it so why not spend it. The place is a converted farm over 400 years old. Some the wood used in it is even older than that, used from torn down ships. There are many unique features to include the upstairs hallway which is just over 4 ft high around the cross beams and the door into the "pink room" is the same height. The other three bedrooms aren't as bad as far as color schemes go. I have a normal size door on the one I plan to take since I've had enough head injuries the past few months. The landlord left some of the furniture in here too which is also quite vintage as you can probably tell. I've also got a bar in the living room and a huge garden in the back and a plethra of parking. Can't wait for that first party.

Driving

I love it...These people actually seem to know how to drive out here...well sort of. Once you get used to it, the driving is rather "smooth" for the most part. I've only seen two stop signs so far...and one of those were on base. The rest is roundabouts and yield signs. There are few speed limit signs and those that do exist don't seem to apply. The only thing I try to respect is going through the villages as it is a bit crowded with parked vehicles and narrow roads (some just slightly wider than my car). The roundabouts can be a bit confusing and take some getting used to. Here's how they work:
Rather than an intersection, a variety of roads (3-6 or more) join into this circular road. The person to the right has the right of way. Now if there is no one coming you can keep going without stopping. Where I'll probably get nailed one of these days is I forget to look right to see if anyone is coming which could make for a bad day. The only downfall is that during heavy traffic you can be waiting a few minutes for the traffic to clear up and you can go. I won't try to explain how to use your turn signals, you just have to experience that.

The average speed is about 70+ on the "highway" with the exception of the Lorries (semis) which have a limiter of 55 which can suck if they get in front of you. Otherwise, if you come up on someone slower than you in the "fast lane" they usually get out of the way...it's common courtesy.
Haven't seen many cops and not one person pulled over. They do have speed cameras but from what I heard, half of them don't work. My girlfriend will usually give me a heads up in areas where they are also..."Please watch your speed" and she'll let me know what the speed limit is.

I bought a Honda Accord, Britich Spec (steering wheel on right side) for $1000 and put $200 into it so far for a tune up. Have to replace the brakes and the tranny may not last too much longer but it should hold up until I can pay off some bills and get a loan for a real car...but until then, it's only a dream...

My New Girlfriend

She's awesome. Had to dump my other one cause she wasn't "compatible" with England. I never thought I'd have a black one, but she was too perfect and she has a beautiful British accent. She's doesn't talk too much but she's not afraid to tell me where to go but I'm lost without her, especially out here in this new land I'm visiting. At least she's polite though, uses please constantly. Easy to turn on too, with just one finger. I'm already considering sharing her with a buddy, she doesn't mind and for some reason, I'm cool with it. I don't have a picture of her, but here's a pic of her twin sister...

Sexy isn't she?

Community Kitchens and Wanting to be a Rockstar...

I really can't wait to find a house, this hotel type living is not for me, I need a kitchen. We have a community kitchen which is alright, but it lacks decent cookware. Every once in a while I like to cook up a batch of my famous pancakes with some eggs n' sausage. The hob (stove) has two settings: "Kind of Warm" and "Hot as Hell". I haven't been able to find the in between yet. As for cookware, for those non-cooks out there...Don't use metal in a pan/pot. Why you ask? Because it scratches them and they loose their non-stick special abilities. So I ended up with this pile of carbon flavored pancakes that even 2 cups of syrup couldn't hide the taste. The eggs were alright, although I did put in two and got one, the other is still stuck to the pan.
Anyway...I also got to experience UK censorship for the first time. I was listening to Nickelback's Rockstar and noticed a certain emptiness wherever the word "drug" was supposed to be. "Where the - come cheap" ...it just doesn't sound the same. What is the purpose of censorship anyway? If you're going to delete content, then just don't play it in the first place, why ruin it, we all know what they're saying anyway. F%@& Censorship.

Anyone Can Be an Artist. My Trip to London...

I've traveled many countries and when I was told that using the Underground can be quite confusing and I was a bit worried I may get lost. The Underground is what we Americans know as a "Subway" and consists of, to the unfamiliar traveler, a multitude of colored lines, twists, turns and connections. For anyone that has considered traveling the Underground "Difficult", I invite you to take a trip through Japan's transit system where there's probably 3x as many lines and nothing is in English. So for 25L I got on the train and took off to the Tate Modern Museum where the Nissan Free Ride Challenge awaited my arrival.

If you don't know what free riding is, check out the video. It's kind of like a cross between mountain biking, BMX and Urban Riding. The grand prize was for 100,000L and if you convert that to American cash, we're talking $200,000…where do I sign up?

I've actually considered taking up the sport, however, entering at 31 years old and not being very coordinated, I'll stick with the old style mountain biking where your bike typically stays on the ground.

I didn't stay for the full event but I did manage to get some video. I was a bit disappointed when I arrived and went to take a couple shots with my regular camera only to find out I left my battery on the charger back at the hotel. So all I had was my video camera that only takes sub-par 1MB still pics.

Once the qualifications were done I took a break to visit the museum at which the event was taking place…I learned what "true" modern art is and discovered that anyone could be a potential artist. Cameras weren't allowed but it is something you have to experience in person anyway.

To become a modern art artist, buy some oil paint and a canvas, dip your hand in the paint and splash it on the canvas. You can use one color or several. It doesn't matter because what you create will be hung on a wall for others to sit down and study the painting for hours and discuss amongst each other what you were thinking at the time you created your work of art.

There is also modern art in motion; something I certainly didn't know existed. This is a film that is created and shown on the wall as if it were a painting. Here is one way to become a motion picture modern artist…Pull out all but one of your teeth, shave your head, have somebody punch you a couple times to puff up your face, dye your head red, get naked, tuck your penis between your legs and dance to African drums…now that's art!

My curiosity was really getting to me to see what the rest of the place consisted of but it was time to catch the train back, otherwise it would cost another 120L+ ($250) to stay another day. Till next time London…Cheers!

First Day at the New Job

JAC Molesworth...I work with primarily Airforce & Army and it's not that bad. Much more laid back than that shipboard life.

Here was my introduction to the new command:
"Hey, we need you to be an observer for a urinalysis" For you non-military folk out there, I basically had to watch a bunch of guys pee in a cup for drug testing. "Hi, I'm SK2 Vic Henderson, new guy here and I get to watch you pee, pleasure to meet you". Then I went to a luncheon for someone that I knew for only a total of 10 minutes...Too bad she had to go, seemed like we just lost a good person from the way everyone talked. Sexual Harassment Panda shoulda been at the luncheon too, he woulda had a blast. I think I work in a shop that lives in the gutter and I kinda like it.
Then I got something that I haven't seen for about 3 years since reporting to the Oscar Austin...a four day weekend! If it wasn't for having to save some cash for a house/car I probably woulda headed to Germany or something, but only going to London for a day...More to come on that. Cheers Mates!

A New Beginning

I think I'm actually going to start using this blog thing again. Figured I can keep all my stateside peeps up to date with misc. stuff since I know I can kinda suck at e-mailing...

English Bathtubs

Now I'm not sure if all bathtubs in England are like this, but the one at the "hotel" I'm staying at is just a bit different. One, it's a god awful puke yellow. It also has a very touchy temperature knob that if not careful can be mistaken for the "on/off" knob and you can burn the crap out of yourself then shock yourself and testicles in a surge of cold water. But the worst part is that it is about 6 inches higher than your normal tub, yet on the inside it is the same depth. Not a big deal right? Well try taking a relaxing shower and then pleasantly stepping outside of it with the expectation of your foot hitting the ground at the "normal" bathtub height...The outcome, a minor curse but no damage, I caught myself just in time to not slam my head into the toilet.
Welcome to England.

Cheers...